CinemAffliction

Gymkata

Posted by in Action

Oh you beautiful bastard.  What a wonderful piece of crap. Years ago I saw a trailer.  A trailer for a film that looked ridiculous.  For a film that combines gymnastics, martial arts, terrible acting and the 80’s.  I thought to myself, “This is a movie I want to see.”  And now, many years later, I finally have. This movie has a pretty ridiculously plot-like object.  Basically you’ve got a gymnast.  Who is recruited for a dangerous mission in a country called Parmistan.  Or as we kept calling it, Parmesanistan.  This…read more

Predator

Posted by in Action

This is one of those films that I’ve always heard about, and even seen snippets of but somehow had never seen.  Well, my obsession with Broforce has put me in the mood to watch action films.  And since there are a bunch of characters in Broforce from famous movies that I’ve SOMEHOW NEVER SEEN….I’ve been trying to watch those. Oh Predator.  How I loved thee.  How ridiculous you are.  It’s like testosterone on crack.  A total sausage fest.  There is ONE woman in it, and she spends a good portion…read more

Action Heroes

Posted by in Movie Musings

I know, I know. It has been friggin’ ages since I’ve posted. I need to stop apologizing for that and just start writing more, but I’ve lost my motivation. Until today. I am not much of a video gamer. I wasn’t allowed to play them growing up and somehow never developed the needed dexterity to use a controller. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy playing them sometimes, but I feel that they are best played with a group of people. Until now. I have become addicted to playing a…read more

Genre Actors

Posted by in Movie Musings

I was looking through my Netflix queue tonight to see what films are being taken off at the end of the month. I ended up picking an 80’s horror flick called The Horror Show. I’m pretty amazed that I’ve never heard of this film before.  It’s EXCELLENT.  Cheesy, gory, totally 80s-tastic and starring one of my favorite genre actors:  Lance Henriksen. Of course, for some weird reason, my extremely kookie brain clumps him together with another genre actor, Peter Weller.  Both of these excellent actors have appeared in some pretty fantastic…read more

King Kong (2005)

Posted by in Action and Adventure, Drama

There are a handful of movies that I will watch pretty much any time. Have a day off and wanna put something on? I’ll often choose one of these. Aliens is on that list. And so is Peter Jackson’s 2005 version of King Kong. No. It’s not a perfect movie. But it’s still great. I think it’s incredibly clever how the writers have paid homage to the original film. They refer to Fay Wray and Merian Cooper (the star and the writer of the original story). Also, the film they’re…read more

The Addams Family

Posted by in Comedy

I never really watched the TV show, but the movie came out when I was a kid and I remember liking it a great deal. Upon this viewing I realized it was even better than I remembered it! Brilliant! Anjelica Houston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd and Christina Ricci are perfect. And for someone who is kinda gothy at heart this movie is perfect. The Addams family is a group of creepy, ghoulish people for whom misery is life’s greatest joy. They include a butler who looks like Frankenstein’s monster, an…read more

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Posted by in Drama, Uncategorized

Ok, so I love the Swedish film.  In addition to that, I loved the book.  Just the first one though.  The second two books/films were both crap.  But we’re just gonna ignore them.  I checked this version out from the library because I figured there were no monetary commitment if I don’t like it and because I was damned curious how it was going to be. The opening credits:  WTF?????  They looked more like a music video than credits.  It was all morphing black ooze and bodies, which has NOTHING…read more

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Posted by in Horror

It’s October!!!!  And you know what that means.  It’s time to watch horror movies ad nauseum! All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a throwback to 1970’s slasher horror flicks.  They never actually say when the film takes place, but it could really be any time from 1980 and the present, which gives it a kind of timelessness that I really enjoyed.  I mean, it’s obviously modern, with cell phones and a few newer cars, but a lot of the clothes, accessories and film style is reminiscent of the 70’s and…read more

Teen Screams

Posted by in Horror, Movie Musings

So, Teens have had a pretty tight hold on the horror genre for years, as both the intended audience and the main characters. Of course, teen slasher films are the ones that most people think of. You’ve got Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Nightmare on Elm St, Friday the 13th, and on and on the list continues.  But today I watched the film Vamp, and I was reminded of how many awesomely cheesy teen vamp and werewolf films there are.  And I was thinking of how much fun it could be to do a marathon! If…read more

Batman pt 2 (aka The Crappy Ones)

Posted by in Action and Adventure

Aaaaaand now we get to the crappy films. You know, the ones I rented instead of purchased. And I even felt guilty spending the money to rent them. Funny things is, I remember when Batman Forever came out, and I LOVED IT!  Of course, I was a kid.  So I didn’t understand how shite it was.  It was SO terrible, that I actually preferred Batman and Robin to it, and that’s saying something.   Batman Forever What a pile of crap.  Nicole Kidman’s character is throwing herself at Batman in the grossest,…read more

Batman pt 1

Posted by in Action and Adventure

I know. I said I was gonna do this earlier….but it was gonna be such a LOOOOONG post, but I kept putting it off. Watching all the Batman movies was A LOT of fun, and quite a few of the people who joined me said how much they enjoyed that type of day-long marathon. Which, of course, means I’m gonna keep doing them! So be prepared for more of these in the future. So let’s start at the beginning: Batman: Oh, Tim Burton, how I love thee.  I have to…read more

Muppets Most Wanted

Posted by in Comedy

I friggin’ LOVED THIS FILM!!!!  I mean, I was a little underwhelmed by the last film.  Largely because I was offended by Amy Adam’s character’s obsession with getting married.  NOT ALL WOMEN ARE OBSESSED WITH MARRIAGE!!!!  *phew*  Anyway, this newest Muppet film still fails the Bechdel test, with only TWO female characters (one being Miss Piggy) but I loved it anyway. What a cast!  Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, and Ty Burrell as the non-puppety leads.  And all the cameo appearances!  Dear God!  Every famous person ever!  (That was obviously hyperbole,…read more

Manhunter

Posted by in Thriller

I think they should rename the film Red Dragon to The Crappier Version of Manhunter.  Cause this movie is AWESOME!  I mean, I enjoy Red Dragon, even though I know it’s flawed.  But this is based on the same story and maybe halfway through Manhunter I thought to myself, “Fuck Red Dragon!  Why can’t we make movies like THIS more often?!” I looked up the guy who wrote and directed this movie and it turns out he also did Last of the Mohicans.  Friggin’ Last of the Mohicans!!  I friggin’ love that movie!  I tip my hat…read more

Batmanathon!!!

Posted by in Movie Musings

Hey all! Today I turned 30!!! Yeah. I’m getting older. So I decided to celebrate by tapping into my inner child and having a Batman movie marathon!!!! We’re about halfway through so far, and I have to say….a couple of these are waaaay worse than I remembered. And I remembered them being BAD. More in depth reviews to come.

0

Stitches

Posted by in Comedy, Horror

HELLS YES!!!! Murderous clown horror/comedy? Sign me up. Stitches is the worst clown ever. He’s crass and lazy; showing up late for gigs, swearing, smoking cigarettes and almost running over kiddies with his car. So he’s working a kid’s party and totally bombing. The wee ones are swearing at him and giving him the finger, until finally one of them ties his shoe laces together, which causes him to trip face first onto a carving knife. I guess that’s one way to give someone the axe.  Haha…ha…ha…….aw, shut up. There…read more